Leadership Coach and Career Coach Tip 

 

80-99% of the healthy population experience negative self-talk every day. While most people believe they can hide negative thoughts and feelings and still perform at work. However the evidence suggests something quite different. Most of us are transparent, and bad at hiding our “cra*p!”. 

The Good News is you are not on your own! 

The Great news is there is a simple 3 step solution!

Last week I was struck down with the flu. I believed I could still perform as normal, hiding how I was truly feeling which was tired and lacking enthusiasm. I rescheduled some sessions, and did others via Skype, to not pass on my germs! On reflection, I did wonder if any of my clients perceived my lack of enthusiasm as a lack of interest in them.

What I have noticed coaching Leaders is that appearances can be deceptive. What we see above the line (observed behaviour) or “tip of the iceberg” is not always a true reflection of what is going on underneath (thoughts, feelings, emotions). However we make assessments and judgements of others all the time, based on what we see…. not our fault really, as we cant read the minds of others. In my case, clients thinking I wasn’t interested, which couldn’t be further from the truth!

How do you truly “show up” at work when you aren’t feeling great, be it sickness or just “sick of work!”?  360 and mulit-rater feedback research tells us, that over 90% of Leaders are actually far more transparent at work than we think. Strangely, I get great comfort from this, as it just means we are all very bad at hiding our “cra&p!”.

If we flip this the other way when observing others, what does that mean?

For example, if your boss suddenly starts avoiding you, what do you assume is going on? For some it might be a relief, for others it might be a fear they have done something wrong, or worse, about to get sacked. However your boss might be unwell, had some bad news or simply just having a bad day.

C-I-T Easy 3-step Solution  

Leadership Coaching Step 1. CONNECT.  

Connect with your thoughts and feelings by simply  noticing what you do differently when you are having a “bad day”. Do you avoid people or tasks? Do you become more sensitive or defensive? Do you procrastinate?  Do you, eat, sleep or drink more?

Leadership Coaching Step 2. INSPIRE. 

Start noticing people around you, and how they may be doing the same thing. Maybe they are having a bad day too, and just need a kind word. This is using the “C” word… COMPASSION.

Leadership Coaching Step 3. TRANSFORM.

Try the opposite of what you normally do. For example, rather than avoid a meeting or person because “you aren’t feeling it”, follow through.  This can feel a bit like going to the family or network event you have been dreading all week.  What happens when you do go?  I find it is never as bad as I imagined. Sometimes it ends up being the best thing I have done all week (arguably because I had low expectations!).

Give it a go today!  Let me know what noticed margie@connect-inspire-transform.com

If you would like to learn more about how this approach can reduce unwanted individual and team behaviours and transform towards high performance, and the science behind it – Book a free 30 minute consult here

I hope this was of value and you are having a Prosperous 2018,

Warmly, Margie Ireland
Leadership Coaching
Connect-Inspire-Transform